In this article, you will discover:
What the courts and the legal system look at now is different from the past. At one point, it was considered appropriate for the mother to have most of the visitation and for the father to have only some. Now, it’s really 50/50.
The courts want both parents to have an equal opportunity to raise that child. Withholding visitation can be something that the court frowns upon. If you’re preventing the other parent from spending time with the children, that’s going to be a problem, and the courts will view that negatively.
When a parent does that, it’s important to look at the reasons. Sometimes, there may be a good reason to withhold that visitation. Maybe one parent feels the other is dangerous. You do have to make sure that there are facts that support that. If there are no facts that support the idea that the other party is dangerous, withholding visitation will become a major problem.
Even if you’re a single parent, you can’t withhold from the other parent. Trying to do that can deeply damage your case.
If you are withholding visitation, your attorney must determine whether or not that’s in the best interest of your child. If it is, then you and your attorney will ask the court to make that decision. Making that decision on your own to keep a child away from the other parent is not acceptable.
Suppose you’re alienating the other parent by saying bad things about them. The court is going to look at whether the badmouthing causes emotional stress or emotional problems for your child. In this way, badmouthing the other parent is a serious problem.
I have had cases where we had to go to court and change custody because one of the parents was not only withholding and gaming the visitation but also trying to color their child’s perception of the other parent. That does cause emotional problems for children. When badmouthing affects a child’s emotional development or mental health, that is child endangerment.
Documenting parenting time is essential if that parenting time is outside of the court-ordered agreement. If there’s no agreement for parenting time, or the other parent is not adhering to the agreement for parenting time, it’s helpful to keep track of what’s actually happening.
If you have an agreement that says each parent gets 50/50 parenting time, but the other parent asks you to care for your child three out of four weeks of their parenting time, you need to document that. Sometimes, these situations reach a point where you need to be back in court to establish that a 50/50 parenting time court order is not being honored.
Bringing those documents to the court to prove what’s actually happening and obtaining an order that reflects that is helpful when you ask for child support, even though parenting time is not usually one of the elements that we look at for setting child support.
Many parents use a communication app to document communication. There are a couple of different ones, such as AppClose or OurFamilyWizard, where parents can input information as they would if they were texting or emailing. A parent can enter communication into the app so that it’s documented there and available for the other parent. These communications can be used as evidence later to contradict the other parent’s claim that there’s poor communication.
I had a client who was good about communicating all the doctor’s appointments, extracurricular activities and school conferences that the other parent may or may not have had access to. We were able to bring that to the court and ask for the parenting time to be changed because that other parent was not responding.
When a parent doesn’t communicate, this can count as abandonment. You can lose custody because you’re not communicating with the other parent about your child. When abandonment of your child is a reality, it may be time to ask the court for a step-parent to adopt.
Verbal agreements can be very problematic when they are not honored. For instance, if one of the parties changes their mind and suddenly the other party doesn’t get parenting time, you don’t have any court order to enforce. There is nothing legally binding the other party to allow you to see your child.
Having a court order setting forth what the parties agreed to do makes responsibilities clear and helps the parties further your child’s development together. In contrast, having only a verbal agreement in place is usually a mistake. You should always get a signed-off agreement from the court.
Parenting classes can be helpful. We don’t all communicate in the same way. We don’t all hear things through the same filters. When our communication skills are not as strong as we’d like, sometimes we touch on those emotions, especially when there was formerly a relationship between the parties.
Now that the relationship is over, the focus needs to be on your child and co-parenting well. You and the other party will now need to operate more like a business partnership rather than a romantic partnership. It’s tough, but focusing on your child’s best interest is the smartest way forward.
While you can divorce your spouse, you’re not going to be able to cut that person out of your child’s life. You need to co-parent with your ex throughout your child’s life. You must cooperate to decide where to send your child to preschool, what you’re going to do for high school graduation and where they’ll go to college. You may even have to consider their wedding.
There will be countless milestones in your child’s life that require you to communicate with your ex. Focusing on your child and getting along with your ex is what serves your child’s best interest.
For more information on avoiding mistakes in custody disputes in Minnesota, an initial consultation is your next best step. Get the information and legal answers you are seeking by calling (763) 284-5552 today.
Attorney Kathleen Gomez is a respected lawyer based in Otsego, MN, who has helped countless clients like you navigate the intricacies of family law. She has represented many clients on family law issues and can be a powerful advocate in custody disputes.
Still have questions? Ready to get started? Contact Gomez Law PLLC today to schedule an initial consultation.
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